aRiES

aRiES

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Current Music:	franky bones
Subject:	newest shoot
Time:	09:36 pm
Current Mood:	creative

this is the only one i have so far. b/c its the only one he's sent me.

black latex catsuit=hotness! especially in front of a neon green backdrop! :)

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Subject:	i have to admit
Time:	02:22 pm
Current Mood:	happy

im sorry everyone. i guess i've been a bad girl and became addicted to myspace. hehe like everyone else in the universe! hehe my bad!

so my anxiety is kicking b/c im moving on November 1st to Manhattan NY! and i can no fucking wait. im so siked. jeaniece is really anxious too. good and bad ways. i know its not the safest city out there, but i feel like if we make the right choices then everything will be okay! i've found a couple places that are hiring for cocktail waitresses. people in boston intruduced me to them. i guess its really busy, you make a lot of money, and its a lot of fun, coop people work there too! :) i hope i get the job.

I have a photoshoot with Raj on tuesday... im doing a latex catsuit set with a makeup artist! maybe if she shows up.

hmm what else in the wonderful world of ArIeS ?
me and jeaniece have become so much closer lately. we really need eachother right now. i mean she's leaving her whole life behind for this. but she's willing to take chances and risks in life. so thats a plus. im so greatful for her. on the 26th of this month will be our 1 1/2 year anniversary. that's so long for me. especially in a mutual relationship.

im giogn to be going to a couple of walk in's in NYC for modeling agencies. but i hear that its really hard to make it in NY. which is obvious but its what i want, so i'll try hard to get it. i can do fetish/or mainstream too. which i think is a good quality in me. but who knows if everyone else in the city will see my true beauty. its taken me a long time to realize that i do have a true inner beauty... and i actually have a beauty on the outside too! :) its hard to say that. it seems like im bragging. :/

i have so much going through my head right now so im going to end this now and leave you with a couple recent home photos of myself! i hope you enjoy. comments are welcome.

that's a shoot for blood feast! a famous fetish/halloween party in boston. it was for the flyer picture! me and my mom! that's where my big blues come from!!! obviously! my new tatoo... if you read it from lft to rt it says love... reaad it from rt to left it says evil!

just a couple recent photos of me and my friends! hope you liked!

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Subject:	moving to NYC
Time:	02:01 pm
Current Mood:	chipper

So me and my girlfriend took a trip to NYC to visit Insomnia and check out apartments. and it just so happened that jeaneiece hated brooklyn where insomnia lives. i was like oh shit we're stuck in boston now. :( then the next morning we got up bright and early to check out places and the very first one we looked at was in manhattan a nice area in a 25 story complex w/ 4 buildings the same. we were on the 17th floor and we went in and fell in love w/ the place. 3 bedrooms. two other cool roomates. 565$ a month heat/hotwater/electricity/cable/internet all included. plus the 565 is devided by two! so we seriously knocked about 5 or 6 bills... and the fact that jeaneice loved the place as much as i did, mean the world to me... :) took about 1 million lbs off my shoulders. so i cut a check for the deposit and we talked and became friends and we took off and just enjoyed the rest of our time in NYC.

anyway... if you want to say goodbye you gotta do it fast. this month i'm going to be insanely busy. so busy i wont be able to breath. but i'm going to try to fit everyone in as good as i can. its gotta be before the last 4 days of october though. b/c those last 4 days are all booked already.

NYC here WE COME!

aRiEs

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Subject:	aries needs your help.
Time:	01:19 pm
Current Mood:	nervous

okay so i got accepted to go to a model search/tallent search in las vegas. i'm going on december 2nd and coming back on the 4th. its costing me 1200$ to go and 300$ the my plane ticket. i'm also in the process of paying bills and buying a new car. i'm so stressed out but i could say no after my interview when they told me i can go. its the chance of a lifetime and i couldn't give it up. i'd feel so guilty. something amazing could come out of it or nothing. but atleast i'm trying to live my dream to be a model!
atleast i'm trying.

but i'm looking for any little donations i can get to help me out. so i dont freak out about money. :( yesterday was the happiest day of my life when i found out i was going. the happiest. now i just need to money so i can actually go.

if you love aries, and you'd like to help contact me here.

or at JaimLynn_7@yahoo.com

aries loves you.... a lot.

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Subject:	new pictures recent ones
Time:	11:12 pm

http://photobucket.com/albums/a184/shootranax/aries/

go there and check it

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Subject:	lost numbers....poor poor numbers
Time:	06:25 pm
Current Mood:	angry

kay so heres the freakin story. somehow i lost all the numbers on my phone and i dont have yours or anyone elses! :( im so mad.

but if your my friend and i had your number, or you feel like i should have it.... contact me, message me,.......... something.

k thanks....

i think i might go call someone now...

oh JUST KIDDING i have no numbers.

aries

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Subject:	digital camera/money/photoshoots/RI
Time:	11:53 pm
Current Mood:	devious

i almost just baught a brand new digital camera/video recorder on ebay for 125 dollars with a 15 dollar shipping fee... but my account sucked and didn't quite have enough. but i need to pay rent first and i was responsible and didn't get it.... phew that would have been bad and i would have stressed out about it.

money sucks. i hate money. it stresses me out so much sometimes. rent is late and i need to buy a kitchen set from jeanieces mom, a new computer, and my digital camera.... then the rest of my bills that come up every second of every day out of NOWHERE!

i have a photo shoot with RAJ on monday, but i want to switch it for tuesday b/c i have to work at friday's on monday and i shouldn't give it up b/c its a good money making shift too.... but he pays me 100 dollars to pose for him. and dolly will be with me too... aries and dolly will be famous someday!

a girl on myspace asked me to bartend for her on thursdays at a lesbian/gay club in lynn on thursdays. making 4 dollars an hour plus tips. maybe i'll do it! sounds like fun to me. or maybe 2 thursdays a week or something. we'll see..... she'll train me she said. i know my liquor. and im sure its not a full bar like fridays.

and me and jeaniece decided that we will be moving to Providence RI after taxes next year. after the winter. we will be getting a 1 bedroom or studio for between 500-750 sooo cheap. we now pay 600 for a room in a 4 bedroom top floor apt in cambridge mass.... totaling 2400$ for the whole place and 6 fucking roomates! INSANE! all my roomates piss me off and my land lord is gay as all hell!!! <<< in a bad way.

k done rambling.

going to the gym to work my little white ass off.... feeel soooo good about myself i'll want to do myself! :) life is good.. today anyway. i hope!

then i'll go to friday's where theres a full bar and feed everyone alchahol till they give me all their money. she's doing a double to make money and soon i'll/we'll have everything we want! and more! :)

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Subject:	bla blah blahde blahdeeeee blah!
Time:	08:19 pm
Current Mood:	mischievous

barf!

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Subject:	picture
Time:	02:18 pm

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Subject:	picture
Time:	02:13 pm

picture

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Subject:	a few sample pics.
Time:	09:31 pm

2 pics from my shoot yesterday. not photoshopped so don't look at my many flaws please.

comments are welcome!

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Current Music:	humming
Subject:	CLUB HELL
Time:	08:57 pm
Current Mood:	crazy

going to club HELL tonite in providence RI w/ insomnia and jeaniece. can't wait. i've never been and it's a goth industrian night and DJ Venom is spinning.... he got us comped in all 3 of us b/c insomnia is friends w/ him.... jeaniece is actually excited b/c of him... she doesn't like goth/fetish clubs though. she doesn't agreee w/ our lifestyle and what it brings i guess...... anyway. i haven't posted in FOREVER! so i wanted to share a few pics. please let me know what you think... if i even have any friends on here anymore... :( sorry i dont have much to do w/ live journal anymore... i use myspace a lot too...

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Subject:	my truth
Time:	03:15 pm
Current Mood:	depressed

my truth

lately i just dont know what to do with myself.

it's gotten so bad.

she won't make love to me. she has to desire to. it's like she hates me.

i know she doesn't but it hurts so bad when the one and only person i've ever felt this much for doesn't want me. how can you not want me? not to brag, but everyone i've ever had anything to do with....wants me. but not her. the one and only person im in love with. seriously.... i dont know what to do. it's been seriously almost a month and i dont want it to be this way anymore. soon if things don't change im going to have to end it i think. we're not happy. we used to be everyones favorite lesbian couple. not anymore. i don't even want this anymore i dont think. well i do. i can't say that. b/c i love her. but if we can't be as happy as we used to be then i'll fucking end it. its not worth it to me anymore. i can't be so depressed like this.

i mean i FUCKING HURT MYSELF. now the world knows it. b/c i dont give a fuck. i cut myself all over with glass b/c i wanted my heart to stop hurting. believe it or not it felt good just feeling all the blood gush out of me. didn't help how wasted i was.

i know all of this is gross.... and im not looking for pitty. just wanting to write whats in my head.

my girlfriend still has all this love left inside of her for her ex. which grosses me out b/c she was so abusive towards her, and cheated on her all the time and eeeeew. she's so fat too.

how can someone not want to make love to me. she doesn't even get lost in my eyes anymore.

does she even love me? she says she does. but how can she if she still loves her ex. <<<which is what im convinced. dude....get the fuck over her. or get rid of me please. all of this hurt is killing me. looking at this 90 lb little girl next to me in my bed who wont let me touch her, who wont let me make love to her. who doesn't want me. me and my disorders... this doesn't help. i wish i was 90 lbs. its gross but i do. i would never cheat on her, but sometimes i think about it. just to be wanted again. i won't. but i wish i could sometimes. i would never disrespect her like that. but damn would i love to just get the shit fucked out of me again. or someone just get lost in my big blue eyes and see all the good i have to offer. she doesn't agree w/ the dark side of my life. the fact that i post for pictures, and dress in bondage and black and look scary. i love it. i perform on a stage for all the see as a domm and a subb.... i dance on a box for everyone to want me, and i get tied up on tables and shit. she hates it. she hates my club. but i love it. and i have to give up all this, and change for this girl who im obsessed w/. what is that going to do for me? 1st boyfriend.....cheated on me every day with every red head he could get his hands on. he abused me physically....mentally....and sexually.... all the other guys......forced me. 1st girl i fell in love with........took her love back from me. 1st actual girlfriend......doesn't want me. and can't make love to me. and i dont feel like she's very honest with me.... we both need help w/ out issues. but i honestly feel like this may not work out in the end. and i dont want to put myself through this for too much longer. especially if its not going to change. so instead i'll continue to take my diet pills and continue to show my hip bones through. b/c thats all that makes me happy. im also gonna continue to pretend to be happy. b/c im not. not right now. all i want in my world right now is to be financially stable again, have all the money in the world. and to be wanted by my lover. to hold her hand and skip through the streets b/c we're so happy and we dont care what anyone thinks of us. to be cutsey face all the time like we used to be.... and to ignore everyone around us b/c we are lost in eachothers eyes. all i want is our happiness back. everything we used to have. i want it back. we shouldn't have to work to be happy. we should just BE happy. soon it'll be good. i need to be positive. if i offended anyone, or surprized anyone im so sorry. i usually am a happy person. i usually am not this negative. but when life is negative and you have negativity all around you altering your mind. this is how you are. never again will i hurt myself. i hope. and im going to try to only cry on the inside. so no body knows. my truth.

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Subject:	glowey hair
Time:	06:05 pm
Current Mood:	discontent

im sooo bored.

and kinda losing my mind a little bit. lately i've had really high anxiety and panic attacks.

either way. heres a cool picture i just found. tell me what you think.

just at a club i work at... fun timez

i know i look stupid, but the hair looks cool.

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Current Music:	la la la
Subject:	been too long
Time:	07:17 pm
Current Mood:	mischievous

i need to get a new computer b/c it's been faar too long since i've posted and been able to keep up with my live journal and all my friends!
miss you guys.

i guess its my own fault since i did spill an alchoholic drink on my lap top two times in a rowe.

man i can't even type as fast as i used to. :(

im just bored, using my roomies computer. waiting for insomnia to get here. we're performing at a rave in nashua NH tonite. and not getting paid. can you freakin believe that? i mean it's going to be fun and stuff, but i could have made atleast 150 to 200 $rs tonite at friday's working if i kept my shift but nooo.....

i just got back from florida with my girltoy. we didn't have too much fun. it was pretty frigin miserible actually. nope.... it sucked. i think i officiually turned into an alchoholic that week. and of course the day we left pride in boston started. so we missed it. and pride in NY is tomorrow or something and we can't go bc we got our car tuned up and it was a couple hundred dollars more than we thought it would be. sucky..... so ya. im going to be a working girl for the next few months.

jeaniece applied to the union to be a teller communications electrician. she hears back from them very shortly. she's all nervous that they won't take her b/c she has no experience and she's so damn skinny. but i think they will b/c 1. she's female... 2. she's spanish and they have to meet a certain number of each nationality or whatever.
god i hope she gets in. it would make her so happy.
plus i bought her a tool set and it'd be a waste of money..... (just kidding).

okay i guess that's enough for now. gotta go finish getting ready for this club.

insomnia hurry up yo! :):)

peace kids

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Subject:	new picture
Time:	12:41 pm

wow!

i haven't written in forever~

but again im not going to write much. just wanted to share one of my new pictures from my most recent set.

hope you all like.

i think it came out pretty good.

must be the photo shop!

joking...

enjoy

/aries/

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Current Music:	my crying
Subject:	not so pretty anymore
Time:	11:58 am
Current Mood:	sad

`i guess my dream of being a model is dying.
the only people who contact me are the people who want to shoot me for free. or the people who want me to get naked. and that's not what i want to do. how come tryst gets to have all these fabulous pictures taken? with her clothes on.... is it b/c she's from the UK and the photographers aren't so scummy....? i used to have scott lanes taking my picture. and he stopped now b/c i want to keep my clothes on. :( well.... my girl friend wnats me to keep my clothes on. i dont mind being topless or showing my ass. i got my nipples pierced now, and i have a cute butt..... but jeaniece doesn't think that anyone else has the right to see me nude. which is true. but still. i guess i gotta be nude, or know the right people or something to go to where i want to go. or just never go. b/c its not happening.... im sad.
im leaving.
who knows what i'll do now.

fuck it all.
peace.

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Current Music:	hott pink truth!
Subject:	aries and insomnia
Time:	09:04 pm
Current Mood:	happy

so me and insomnia are hanging out right now. getting ready to die her hair hott pink! waiting for jeaniece to get out of work. wishing she was here right now. but its okay b/c i have insomnia to keep me occupied! i love that girl. she's so cute. my little daughter i call her. she calls me her mommy. i told her my little brother was moving to boston to live with me and get his life going in the right direction, im taking him under my wing i said. she said im a good mommy so he'll be fine! how cute is that?!
what would i do without good friends? i dont have many, i have a couple. but the ones i want to keep throw me out of their lives for good. NO NAMES OR ANYTHING. :( i guess i dont need anyone accept myself, my family, and my girlfriend. and of course my kitty dynasty... and my fishy drake! our little family is so great. k gotta go dye her hair now!

peace out
aries

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Current Music:	NOTHING
Subject:	IM GETTING THIS!
Time:	06:57 pm
Current Mood:	EXCITED

yay! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THIS! GO CHECK IT OUT. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. AND I WILL POST PICTURES SOON OF ME WEARING IT!
YAY!

http://www.nervedamagedesigns.com/designs/womens/hollow.htm

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Current Music:	tv
Subject:	my new falls!
Time:	03:54 pm
Current Mood:	ecstatic

hey everyone.... these are my new falls. go check them out. i had them made for me by shay! i think she did a good job. i think im paying like 30 dollars for them. i hope i get them by april first so i can wear them to my club. yay! :) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v634/igodess66684/side.jpg CHECK IT!!!!

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aRiES

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries

October 27th, 2005

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